.....How do I even begin, it feels like I have been to HELL and back. I finally fully recovered from surgery on my stomach although the scars don't fully go away I am happy to say that I no longer have that agonizing pain in my stomach anymore. WOOOOO! Now its just a different pain, after being with my boyfriend for 9 years we finally called it quits. I have no words to fully describe how hurt I am by the break up and as much as I wish I could say it was mutual.... it wasn't he unfortunately broke my heart in a million pieces. I wanted to take a break from life, literally shut down...but I cant I have to pick up whats left of me and keep moving on. It sucks EVERY SINGLE DAY....and I still have faith that the perfect person is out there for me It just wasn't him as much as I wanted it to be. I stopped blogging and stop using the popular social networks to prevent seeing stuff about him or having people question me about it. I did however want to write this blog, I kept a "Break Up" journal for myself it helped me vent alllll the things I really wanted to say but never wanted to get in touch with him about. Its kinda like those drunk txts that you send or those drunk phone calls you make that you wish someone would have grabbed that phone and said STOP!!!! I feel a huge weight lift from me after I write it alll down its like therapy without having to spend the money and then a light bulb went off and I said to myself MY BLOG!!! I totally stopped doing this verrrry thing I am writing in a book about. So now I am back blogging about my broken heart and how someone really heals after TRULY GOING THREW ONE OF THOSE LIFE DEFINING BREAK UPS, the first love, the first boyfriend the first everything is what he wast to me. The man I thought I would spend my WHOLE entire life with. Nine long years spent with this man, built me into the person I am today unfortunately butttt I have learned a lot from that relationship and I can honestly say its a day by day process but I am working on it, and happy to have a place to write all this stuff down. So if you do follow my blog bare with me its going to be a bumpy road. That being said I do believe things happen for a reason and this is just one test in the many I will run into in life and I am ready to tackle this head on!!! I hope you guys will come on this journey with me I still love make up and clothing and everything in between just a little broken right now but I will be fixed again I know it.